This editorial originally appeared in the Austin American-Statesman.

“This is the only place anyone has ever been nice to me. It’s the place I felt safe.” These were the words of the young girl I found waiting outside the door of the Austin Children’s Shelter early on a chilly February morning. Tired, dirty, cold and hungry, between sobs she kept repeating: “It’s my fault. I left. I didn’t know.” Now 19 years old, she was terrified that she would be turned away, but she wasn’t. Simple human decency demanded that we find a place — and the funding — for her.

This young girl is one of the thousands of young people in Texas who have aged out of the foster care system; one of those who, at age 18, opted to leave the system to make it on her own.

In 2012, there were 16,697 children in foster care in Texas. These are children who have been rescued from unsafe, often abusive homes, and given shelter, treatment and care by the state of Texas, which assumes parental responsibility for each child. What can possibly be a higher priority than paying for the care and safety of these children that look to the state as their parental authority? While 91 percent of the children in the foster system are cared for by private organizations — mostly nonprofits like the Austin Children’s Shelter — the average rate of reimbursement has decreased from 90 percent of cost in 2003 to 73 percent in 2012, in large part because of unfunded requirements and insufficient rate increases.

The state mandates staff trainings, child-staff ratios, background checks, how to dispense medications, transportation, documentation, health care and all the other critical services everyone hopes to provide for their children. But rarely has any funding been associated with the increase in regulation. At the Austin Children’s Shelter, the state reimbursement only makes up 30 percent of the cost to provide quality care and support for a child. It is a percentage we have seen shrink dramatically over the past decade as the number of kids in care and their level of need has increased. The balance is made up by donations from the community.

And what of the young girl that waited at the door — every young person deserves a place to return to as “home.” A place they can feel safe and welcomed regardless of funding and rules.

The under-funding of foster care rates by the state of Texas directly impacts the safety of children that have already endured unimaginable abuse and neglect. These funds provide for supervision, screening and the training necessary to keep kids safe while in care. The mandates and requirement will remain in place and likely continue to increase. The state recognizes its responsibility for regulating these services, but it is time for our elected officials to also recognize the state’s responsibility for funding these services for our most vulnerable citizens.

The Texas Alliance of Child and Family Services, our statewide association, is calling for a 14 percent across-the-board foster care rate increase. This is the minimum amount needed to protect the foster care safety net for the children now in the Texas foster care system. These funds would be used to support: 1) Children in foster homes — individual home placements for children; 2) residential treatment centers for children with severe emotional needs who require 24-hour supervision in a secure residential setting; 3) basic residential services in a cottage or campus type setting; and 4) emergency shelter to children for stays of less than 90 days. How wonderful if the community dollars we receive could be used to provide the additional familial supports and extras needed by young people, rather than to meet the unfunded mandates required by the state.

Tell your legislators it is time to step up in support of Texas’ abused and neglected children. Central Texas citizens are certainly doing their part – providing 70 percent of the funding that supports the work of the Austin Children’s Shelter. But it has been years since the staff have had a raise, sometimes we have had to limit the number of children we can take because of the acuity level of the children in care, and we must also be able to respond when a young woman shows up at our door asking if she can come “home,” even when we know there will be no associated reimbursement.

This young woman is doing well. She came into my office this morning to thank me. She was a very different person from the one I met on that cold morning. She left me with a note saying, “Man ACS, thank you so much for my home.”

Now that the final movie has premiered, and we’ve all had a chance to get some distance on the story, it is easier to question Stephenie Meyer’s phenomenally successful Twilight Saga. Critics and fans alike are commenting on the spooky resemblance between Edward and Bella’s romance and partner violence. Stalking, manipulation, threats of suicide, control, isolation, deceit, submission and death lead this passionate star-crossed couple to inhuman eternal happiness. For example recent research identified more than 75 episodes of physical violence or threats of physical violence in the story, with two thirds of that violence perpetrated by Edward on Bella and a third perpetrated by Jacob on Bella. Although Edward and Bella rather conservatively don’t have sex until after they marry, their ensuing sexual relationship is violent, causing Bella visible injury. Equally disconcerting is Bella’s acceptance of the violence directed against her; her reckoning seems to be that it’s right to sacrifice everything for those you love. In that context, the story has a strong post-feminist undertow. Not really the messages many of us hope for young women. Trying to fathom why the story is so desperately popular can make your eyes water with frustration.

What I haven’t heard anyone discussing much is the message the story offers young men. If you think boys and men aren’t aware of this story, think again. Between the women in their lives, the media and the ubiquitous presence of star Robert Pattinson guys know the story of Twilight. Here is a story, outrageously popular with women, that make one thing unbearably clear. To be considered attractive a man has to be a monster. Not only a monster, but dangerous and basically incompatible with life. Since Beauty loved the Beast women have been socialized to tame, cure and otherwise civilize men/monsters with love. The other side of that coin is men being socialized into monsters with control issues. Imagine the challenge of having to control your woman at the same time you are out of control yourself. Sounds exhausting. Yet young women have commented that the wonder of Edward has ruined “regular” boys for them.

Literature through history is chock full of stories about passive women, monstrous men and love. Twilight is just the most contemporary instance of this story being romanticized and cherished by readers. Even the very young among us know the difference between fantasy and reality. There are no vampires, no werewolves, and after all what harm can come from a single story? All by itself, perhaps none. Yet in the omnipresent sweep of popular culture idolatry, values are continually fostered (or festering). We can learn a lot about our expectations and the contradictions we harbor from a single story.

Four things to remind our Twilight-loving kids (and selves):

• The most interesting men are human.
• Danger and passion are not related.
• Your heart is bigger than your life: you can love people you can’t live with.
• Romance is present tense – before death.

Four things we need to do in popular culture to reduce violence in intimacy:

• Cherish fantasies about humans in love during their lives.
• Romanticize everyday intimacy.
• Detangle obsession from caring.
• Pay attention to relationships that are working.

Diane Rhodes is an instructor and doctoral student at the University of Texas School of Social Work, and is  the former Chief Program Officer for SafePlace. This was reposted from the DOING JUSTICE blog.

SafePlace conducted its own homegrown Valentine’s awareness campaign last week. Valentine’s Day is such a good opportunity to talk about healthy relationships — after all, “Be Mine” can be a very sweet thing to say, but it can also signal possessiveness and a very unhealthy way to think about a romantic partner. So we decided to come up with an easily-shareable way to spread awareness about the difference.

A whopping 92 percent of the campaign’s total reach came virally, through shares and comments. Thanks to some ingenuity (and some basic Photoshop skills!), SafePlace reached more than 16,000 people with this simple, six-part awareness campaign. Click here to view or share the entire campaign.

That stands to reason, of course:  teachers, nurses, and doctors are some of the most significant adults in a child’s life. And it makes sense that those front-line professionals are trained in what to look for and what questions to ask to learn more about a child’s situation and safety.

But what about the other adults in a child’s life — neighbors, family members, volunteer coaches, cafeteria workers, bus drivers? In Texas, those “non-professional” sources account for less than 30% of all reports of child abuse.

There is opportunity there. A child who’s being abused and neglected is seen by many adults in the course of a day. If every adult in a child’s life were trained to notice the signs, children could be rescued from dangerous homes much earlier.  (It’s also possible to report abuse anonymously.)

We need outreach campaigns on bus depots and billboards, in glossy magazines and church bulletins. We need to reach the librarian who notices the child with unwashed hair and filthy clothes, waiting until closing time to leave every evening. We need to make sure the classroom volunteer knows that a child’s excessive need to please could be a sign that something isn’t right at home.

If we’re serious about ending child abuse, we need to pay attention to what the data are telling us, and reach every adult who interacts with children – and, for good measure, every adult who doesn’t.

-          48,999 Neglectful Supervision
-          11,789 Physical Abuse
-          5,931 Sexual Abuse
-          4,679 Physical Neglect
-          1,583 Medical Neglect
-          640 Refusal to Assume Parental Responsibilities
-          478 Emotional Abuse
-          159 Abandonment

It’s tempting to believe that the nearly 50,000 children who were subject to neglectful supervision are somehow better off than the nearly 12,000 who were physically abused. But in fact, neglect can be a particularly dangerous and damaging form of child abuse. It may not leave black eyes or broken bones, but the effects are still lasting and can be severe.

According to the National Child Abuse and Neglect Data System, more than 42 percent of child maltreatment deaths in the U.S. in 2005 occurred as a result of neglect alone. For the children who survive, the picture is far from rosy: the physical consequences of neglect can include incomplete brain development due to malnutrition and other medical issues, low self-esteem, PTSD, eating disorders, suicide attempts, cognitive/learning disabilities, juvenile delinquency, alcohol and drug abuse, and criminal or abusive behavior. (Source: https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/long_term_consequences.cfm)

Neglected children are deprived of love, attention, stimulation, and safety. Their abuse may not be visible, but it’s very real. Here’s what to look for in a child who’s being neglected (Source: https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/signs.cfm):

• Is frequently absent from school
• Begs or steals food or money
• Lacks needed medical or dental care, immunizations, or glasses
• Is consistently dirty and has severe body odor
• Lacks sufficient clothing for the weather
• Abuses alcohol or other drugs
• States that there is no one at home to provide care

It will take all of us working together to stop the epidemic of child abuse and neglect in Texas and across the country.  Knowing the signs and knowing what to do about them are an important first step.

But last week also delivered a bit of good news:  HR 6655, known as the Protect Our Kids Act, was signed into law. This law, sponsored by Rep. Lloyd Doggett and Rep. Dave Camp (R-MI), will establish a two-year national commission to study data and develop recommendations for how to reduce the epidemic of child fatalities. The commission will contain 12 appointed members who are charged with studying current prevention methods and the adequacy of existing programs and data collection methods. They will then make recommendations on next steps to implement a national strategy for reducing child maltreatment deaths.

Make no mistake, creation of the new national commission won’t ensure success, or even that services to kids aren’t cut in the budget battles to come. But for the first time in decades, a Congressionally-sponsored panel will be collecting information and making recommendations on child abuse issues, and that can be the first step toward real change.

A generation ago, we smoked, drank alcohol, ate fatty foods and let our kids ride in the front seat with nothing but a lap belt. Through public awareness and education, combined with a coordinated community response, we were able to change these habits and reduce the deaths and injuries they caused. It’s long past time to bring that same focus and awareness to the essential goal of preventing the murder of innocent children, and I’m pleased that this new legislation provides us with a place to start.

By Karen Bartoletti,Matt Womack,Mark Mouritsen

Despite years of effort — building bigger shelters, providing increased therapy and support, developing engaging community education projects and the myriad other ways Austin Children’s Shelter and SafePlace address child, sexual and domestic violence and abuse — both agencies have been swimming against an ever-rising tide with ever-dwindling resources for the past several years.

As board members of these organizations, we have watched first-hand as battered women have continued to lose their children, teen moms in the foster care system have moved out and into abusive relationships, eventually losing custody of their children, and teen boys have ended up in the juvenile justice system because of violence toward their girlfriends – doing what they learned in their own homes. We haven’t been ending abuse; we have, all too often, only been pausing it for a brief time.

So last year when the leaders of these two agencies recommended that we develop an alliance that would allow us to offer new programs to clients, combine our voices to advocate for change, and share costs at the same time, we soon realized that it was our opportunity to do much more for survivors than we’d ever done before.

We could see the similarities in the work we did, providing shelter and support to victims of abusive homes. But as we listened to the front-line professionals in both organizations, we realized that there was more to the idea than that. The people we are serving at both ACS and SafePlace have too often been deeply damaged by the abuse they’ve suffered. Children have witnessed and experienced violence in their homes, learning those same abusive patterns of behavior all the while. The true “aha” moment came when we realized that 80 percent of the women in SafePlace’s supportive housing program – which helps women establish independent lives after an initial stay in emergency shelter – had a background in the foster care system.

It stands to reason that children who are traumatized by prolonged exposure to abuse would need support to learn healthier patterns of behavior. It also stands to reason that young adults who “age out” of foster care may not have the support network or resources to maintain independent lives in the face of poverty, unemployment, and unresolved post-traumatic stress.

We recognize that our work, our clients, and our issues are interconnected, and therefore, as of January 1, ACS and SafePlace have formed LIFT: An Alliance to End Abuse. The two organizations will maintain their names, facilities, and independent 501(c) 3 statuses; the Alliance will engage in long-term planning and service coordination between the two. Over time, we anticipate that the Alliance will offer the clients of both organizations more and better services, give us the opportunity to advocate for more responsive and intelligent systems that would help to stop the violence altogether, and use scarce resources more efficiently.

Our first project together is the UT George M. Kozmetsky Charter School, located on the SafePlace campus. Established as a K-8 school many years ago to serve the children who are at SafePlace with their mothers, the school offers a supportive atmosphere and a staff that receives ongoing training in helping kids in crisis. This year, the school added grades 9-12 and welcomed students from ACS, giving them a supportive, normalized school environment.

We are also now able to tailor services to each client much more effectively – as an example, a teen mother who arrived at SafePlace has been transferred to the Teen Parent Program at ACS, where she will receive more support and training to build a healthy life for herself and her child.

With the LIFT Alliance, we are determined to chart a new course on these issues, to recognize that child abuse and family violence aren’t really two separate problems, but part of a larger cycle of violence that is learned over time and repeated over generations. We can’t fix the bureaucratic tangles that can often endanger the lives of victims, or create new sources of funding that will stretch to fully meet the need in our community. But we can begin to develop systems and approaches that help to strengthen families, keep kids safe, and prevent problems before they occur.

In 2011, 102 women and 231 children were murdered in Texas by family members. Thousands of our Central Texas neighbors are trapped in abusive homes right now, traumatized and terrified of what will happen if they try to escape. Those murders, those injuries, that stress and fear and trauma – we refuse to accept that those are inevitable. We choose to serve on the boards of these organizations because we want to do everything we can to stop the violence and prevent it from recurring in future generations. With the LIFT Alliance, we believe we have a powerful new tool to accomplish those goals.

Kasandra’s murder made the news because her boyfriend was a professional football player, but family violence is a tragedy that hides in plain sight all around us, every day. Hundreds of Texas women and children are killed by family members each year, often after years of suffering emotional and physical abuse that leaves them broken and traumatized. The costs — in law enforcement, incarceration, hospitalizations, and loss of productivity — run into the billions of dollars each year.

Our nation responded in 1994 by passing the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA). With that comprehensive legislative package, the U.S. created new federal stalking and firearms crimes, developed a process for legal relief for battered immigrants, established the National Domestic Violence Hotline, and authorized funds to support shelters and other services for survivors of abuse and sexual assault. It also began to develop a community response that involved law enforcement, prosecution, court, and victim services.

It was, for those of us on the front lines of this issue, a major sea change, and it has allowed SafePlace to establish a number of innovative and successful programs that serve victims.

Thanks to VAWA funds, SafePlace offers transitional housing to mothers and children. We have developed and implemented programs for people with disabilities, who often face additional challenges when trying to break away from abusive relationships. VAWA funding helps us offer early childhood services and esteem-building activities for children who have been exposed to violence, either as victims or witnesses. Most of the children who come to the shelter with their moms have also experienced abuse, and helping them to recover is an important priority for all of us. VAWA is also providing essential funding for a new SafePlace program, Planet Safe, which will provide a secure transfer and visitation spot for divorced families – a service that does not currently exist in Central Texas.

A report released last month by the Bureau of Justice Statistics revealed a stunning 64% drop in the overall rate of intimate partner violence since 1994. Legislators on both sides of the aisle agree, and the evidence proves it: The Violence Against Women Act is a resounding success.

It also expired at the end of 2011. This year’s appropriations could be the last, unless Congress acts very soon to reauthorize it.

We still have a long way to go to eradicate violence. In the past 18 years, SafePlace has twice increased its capacity to provide safe haven to survivors. We now have 105 beds available for people who are escaping violent homes, and every night, each one of those beds is full, and there’s a waiting list in case space becomes available at the last minute. In other words: Every single night of every single year, our shelter cannot meet the needs of our own community.

Obviously, we can’t keep building bigger shelters. We’ve got to keep at the hard work of stopping the violence, and VAWA plays a large part in that.

The Senate passed the full reauthorization of VAWA in April, with bipartisan support. This version of VAWA is supported by the National Sheriff’s Association, the National Association of Attorneys General, the National Fraternal Order of Police, the U.S. Conference of Mayors, the American Bar Association, the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, and more than 300 other domestic violence, law enforcement, sexual assault, civil rights and religious organizations and associations.

The House passed a version in early May that is opposed by those same groups. The disagreement has to do with specific legal provisions for tribal populations, the LGBTQ community, and undocumented immigrants, which the House version removed. At SafePlace, we believe no one deserves to be a victim of domestic violence. The work we do every day centers around people who have been told repeatedly that they don’t deserve help and that no one cares about them. We work very hard to counter those negative messages with our clients, regardless of their immigration status or the gender or nationality of their abuser. We undercut the power and success of VAWA when we tell anyone that the abuse they’ve suffered doesn’t count in the eyes of the law. That’s why, along with our colleagues on the front lines in shelters and victim-service agencies across the country, we oppose the House version of VAWA.

Right now the fate of the bill is unclear. Congress is scheduled to adjourn next week, and the “fiscal cliff” negotiations are obviously taking center stage. If our legislators leave town without taking action on VAWA, they could be mothballing one of the most successful programs the federal government has ever developed.

We can’t let that happen. Please encourage House Judiciary Chair Lamar Smith, as well as your local Representative, to reauthorize the full version of VAWA before they adjourn for the year.

And let’s keep reauthorizing this legislation — until no more babies are left behind to grow up without their mothers.

I don’t know Baldwin, but he has a good reputation. He is supposed to be smart, thoughtful and trying to do the right thing for children. While I don’t know Baldwin, I know something about the Texas system for child protection: I know that Baldwin had an “undoable” job.

It is easy to point the finger at funding. There is no doubt thatthe state agency charged with protecting children is massively underfunded. Caseworkers juggle caseloads that are more than twice the recommended level. A new caseworker who survives the first six months is considered seasoned.

In 2010, there were more than 264,000 child abuse and neglect reports and more than 231,000 reports assigned for investigation. Almost 66,000 Texas children were confirmed as abuse victims and 231 children died from abuse and neglect in 2011. As the CEO at the Austin Children’s Shelter, I know these statistics as more than just numbers. I know that no child ever ends up at the Austin Children’s Shelter without having endured unimaginable pain and loss. And I see only a fraction of the “cases” that each child protective caseworker deals with on a daily basis. And I know that they care deeply about the children they are striving to help.

Unfortunately, I have also seen a rigid, punitive system that rarely allows for the best judgment of a caseworker regarding a child or family’s disposition. Caseworkers are forced to make families fit into narrow bureaucratic processes that are often not the best thing for families and children. That day as I read about Baldwin’s resignation, I talked with a prospective adoptive parent who told me of the abuse her future daughter endured in the foster care system. The young girl had been placed with an aunt whose fitness as a guardian had not been assessed. In fact, when a child is removed from their home, caseworkers are instructed to always first try to place the child with a family member – a policy that disregards everything we know about the cycle of violence in families.

What if we had more money to ensure that every child and family is fully assessed to ensure the best placement? What if we had more money to provide for protective child care and parental coaching – a much less costly and more effective means of family intervention? What if we had more respite care for families in distress, domestic violence shelter beds for moms trying to protect their children, and affordable substance abuse and mental health services for adolescents? What if, instead of a punitive and retaliatory system, we provided opportunities, resources and options to help families be successful?

Texas ranks among the bottom in funding for child protective services, and more than 50 percent of its funding is passed through from the federal government. This reliance on federal funds means that the federal government has a significant say in how the state CPS budget is spent. Only 1 percent of the family protective services budget is spent on child abuse prevention and only 6 cents per dollar is spent on keeping children safe at home. Even when removing children from their homes and putting them in alternative placements, caseworkers are given little discretion in determining the best placement options. It’s no wonder that retention of good employees is so low. These workers deal daily with life and death decisions, with too few resources and with almost no control over outcomes.

Yes – someone should pay for the deaths of these children. In fact, many “someones” should pay. I spent years angry with the family protective services bureaucracy because of their seeming unwillingness to put the needs of children first. Eventually I learned that their hands are tied by funding and mandates. Then my anger was directed at the state legislature. I now realize that effective change will only happen if and when we all come together across public and private, local, state and federal, and thought leaders and grassroots activists to create a system that always puts the health and welfare of individual children first.

SafePlace believes that we must create programs and systems that change the patterns. In the past we have done so brilliantly, as we have been innovative in responding to teen dating abuse or violence against people with disabilities. But we have not done enough about child abuse. This is important because we know that if a child is abused, they are more likely to grow up and be in an abusive relationship. For those of us who have worked here for many years, we are beginning to see women come to our shelter who lived here when they were little – and we know that they have been victims of abuse as well as witnesses of the abuse in their families.

We are committed to creating healthy futures for the families we serve. We are proud to announce that we have joined with the Austin Children’s Shelter (ACS) in an alliance to address child abuse, domestic violence and sexual assault. LIFT: An Alliance to End Abuse has been created to work together to eliminate child, sexual and domestic violence through the power of our combined voices and actions.

The LIFT Alliance is already being talked about as a model for addressing the interconnected issues of child, sexual and domestic violence. It is an elegant structure where both SafePlace and the Austin Children’s Shelter retain their unique corporate, programmatic and brand identities while also realizing the benefits of coordinated planning and advocacy. Efficiency is also being gained through combined back office functions, including Finance, IT, Human Resources, Information Systems and Administration. The LIFT Alliance is also being structured in such a way as to allow other victim/survivor oriented organizations to join.

An important question from our community supporters – “will my donation continue to support the work of SafePlace?” Yes, absolutely! This structure allows all member organizations to retain their identities and assets. All donor intent will continue to be honored and all SafePlace assets will be retained with SafePlace. A question from our volunteers might be, “can I volunteer for the one issue I care most dramatically about?” Yes, absolutely! And, “will our name change?” No, we will still be SafePlace. Our clients will come to the SafePlace campus. The SafePlace mission will not change.

LIFT: An Alliance to End Abuse will be fully implemented by January 1, 2013 but we haven’t been sitting still in the interim. Both ACS and SafePlace are already recognizing enormous benefits. Already we have:

• Added a charter middle and high school at the SafePlace campus making it possible for youth from both organizations to attend school K-12;
• Opened the ACS residential shelter and parenting coaching and support program for young moms to include young families from SafePlace that are deemed to be at high risk for abusing and losing their children;
• Created redundancy in several key positions and departments; and
• Generated immediate savings of over $100,000 for FY13.

Both ACS and SafePlace will continue to be governed by their respective Boards of Directors while a new Board and corporate entity has been established for the LIFT Alliance. The convening Board of LIFT is composed of individuals from both the ACS and SafePlace Boards, as well as the general community.

The LIFT Alliance is an exhilarating advance for our fields of work. Together with our partner, we will coordinate powerful messages about safety and peace and we will double the number of us giving that same message. I, for one, want to tell everybody that child abuse is bad, domestic violence is bad, sexual abuse is bad and we can do something about it! Let’s work together to stop violence in our homes and in our community.

This is a wonderful opportunity to create yet another path to end abuse that shatters lives. Thanks for supporting SafePlace in this important new endeavor!